Bonds Of The Heart Page 13

  “Mom. I need those.”

  “Blake, I refuse to let you do this to yourself a second time. First was the drinking. Now you’re drowning yourself in work. You need to eat. You take a break now.”

  “Shit.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I’m not repeating the past. If I can fix Erika’s Jeep I can…”

  “Can what?”

  “Nothing.”

  Maureen squinted her eyes at him. A move Blake knew all too well when his mother wasn’t going to budge from something she’d made her mind up on.

  “Once I fix her Jeep I’m going to drive it out to California. I’m going to find her and bring her back.”

  “Just like that? Have you even thought about what you’d say to her? How she feels or what she might want? Why don’t you tell her before she leaves? Then maybe she’ll stay.”

  “No. She needs time to cool off. I love her mom. I don’t need anything else. Right now I need to just wait for the right moment.”

  Maureen sighed. Why do men always think there’s a ‘right moment’? “Come get something to eat, Blake.”

  Blake followed his mother into the house. He only had a few more things to fix on the Jeep, the axles and the engine being the biggest on the list. Once he was done under the hood he’d replace the seats and steering wheel. Then he’d bang out the dents, affix the front bumper, and replace the tires.

  Sitting down at the kitchen table, he finally gave his thoughts time to settle. What exactly would he say to Erika when he saw her, when he got to California? What if she didn’t love him back? He’d have to come back home, alone. She’d have stolen his heart and taken it with her to California. He knew he’d never get it back, he didn’t want it back. It was where it belonged, with Erika.

  ***

  The sun streamed through the bedroom windows. The sounds of the city blared through the open windows—car and truck horns blasting, kids and adults walking on the street in conversations, the rare, occasional chirp of a bird in the distance. Smells from the restaurant on the corner drifted in the air of various fried foods. Erika groaned as she turned over in her bed.

  It had been two months since the accident. Two months since waking up in the hospital to her mother and Blake’s mother. Two months since she had come back to L.A. and left her mother back in Virginia. Two months since she left Blake. But in that time she never stopped loving him. Her mother had told her how Blake saved her life by pulling her from the Jeep after it was blown off the bridge and into the riverbank. How Blake risked his own life to save hers after he almost got swept under the Jeep and down the river. But she had spent two long nights in the hospital, but he never came to see her. Not once.

  She reached out to her nightstand where the picture of her father and Blake’s brother stared back at her every day and every night. She had lost her father’s dog tags in the accident. Now all she had left of her father were pictures, memories and some of his clothing. She didn’t even have her Jeep anymore. Still she knew there would be too much water damage for it to be salvaged. She told her mom to get rid of it when they said her goodbyes at the airport.

  Blake hadn't come to say goodbye. Then again, she didn’t expect him too. After the way she'd treated him, he should have left her in the Jeep. She had tried to find him, to thank him but never could. She went to the garage but he wasn’t there. Ben said he had taken a few days off. She checked to see if he was at home. Instead she found his mother and Robbie only to be told he wasn’t home. In a small town you’d think it wouldn’t be so hard to find someone.

  Erika sat up in her bed as the phone rang. Glancing at the caller ID she forced a smile in place before answering.

  “Hi, Mags.”

  “Are you still in bed? It’s been less than two months since you got home and three weeks since you left me all alone to fend for myself in the office.”

  Maggie’s voice rang in her ears. She knew that coming back was the right thing to do. If only it didn’t hurt so much. She had taken the job in D.C. on the whim that she’d move back home and find Blake. She’d tell him how sorry she was and that she loved him. She had tried calling and every time he was ‘out’. She left messages for him to call her back. He never did. So, he didn’t want to see her. Now what was she supposed to do? She gripped the stuffed dog she slept with every night for almost two months.

  Erika sighed into the phone. “I know Mags. I just wanted the time off before I found something new.”

  “Erika, I’ve known you for what seems like forever. Not once have I seen you this upset, aside from when you received the news about…” Maggie let her voice trail at the memory of Erika’s crumpled body in the corner of her office crying when she got the call about her father.

  “I’m okay, Mags. Really.”

  Maggie sighed into the phone. She may not believe in love anymore but she knew when her best friend was in love and nursing heartbreak. Maggie tried a change of subject and hoped it would do the trick to get Erika back to Blake. “You remember my friend Chris? The one who had you testing that game for him?”

  Erika remembered the name. She also remembered the night she played for hours with Robbie while Blake had re-heated her mom’s lasagna, when they’d had dinner like a family. “Yes I remember.”

  “He’s heading out to New York next month for some big convention or something. He’s going to be out there for about two weeks. When he gets back, he wanted to know if you’d test the new game out for him again.” Penny in the air.

  Thinking of Robbie, Erika remembered how she had promised him if he did well with his school she’d introduce him to Chris. When Erika spoke with her mother the night before, she had told her how good Robbie was doing in school now and how proud Maureen was, how proud Blake was.

  “Sure. Hey, Mags, you think he’d do me a favor?”

  Penny drops. “I think he could. What’s the favor?”

  Twenty-One

  ***

  October was cool in the northeast. The humid summer heat had died. Leaves would soon be turning beautiful shades of red, burnt orange, and fading yellow. Children had gone back to school and school buses had dominated the small town back roads.

  The drive from Dulles International wasn’t short, but breathtaking. Crossing through small cities and even smaller towns, with their quaint cookie cutter houses or large Victorian’s aged from history or refurbished to bring back their charm, scenery whipped past the car windows. Erika rolled down her window and took in a breath of fresh air. She was back in Virginia for good this time—she prayed anyway.

  “Chris, thank you so much for doing this. I know it’s a little out of the ordinary. Maybe even a little crazy.”

  “It’s no problem at all. The convention just ended and I had some business to deal with in D.C. Besides, after all the testing of the games you’d done for me, there had to be something I could do for you.” He smiled.

  “I really appreciate it. Robbie is going to be beside himself when he meets you. I think if it were possible for video games to have fans, he’s probably the biggest one you’ve got.”

  “Ah. I love those types of fans.” Chris laughed and sat back in his seat admiring the view. “This is a nice area.”

  “Yeah, it is isn’t it?”

  “You grew up here?”

  “Not really. We moved here when my dad was stationed at Quantico. It was the last place he was stationed before the accident.”

  “I’m sorry about that.”

  “Thank you. I’m doing a lot better with it all. It helps being back here, close to my mom and him.” She smiled warmly.

  Erika pulled into Blake’s driveway. She frowned briefly when she didn’t see his. Shaking her head, she exited Chris’s rental car, gave him the keys, and led him to the front door. She knew Robbie would be home‒‒she had her mother plan it with Maureen. She pressed her finger to the doorbell and waited. She heard the quick pace of footsteps running from behind the door before it jerked open.

  “E
rika!”

  “Hi Robbie.”

  “You’re back!”

  “I’m back. And I brought a friend.”

  Robbie looked the guy over. His smiled faded immediately. “Who’s he?”

  “Robbie, this is my friend Chris.”

  “Is he your boyfriend?”

  She didn't answer.

  “I thought Uncle Blake was your boyfriend.” Robbie’s voice was betrayed and angry.

  A fist clenched her heart—tight. How would she handle this one?

  “No, I’m not her boyfriend. I’m just her friend. Erika here tells me you like my game.”

  Thank you Chris!

  “Your…game?” Robbie’s confused expression was priceless. Then his eyes rounded and his smile crawled back across his face.

  “Yeah. I thought I’d bring you the latest one that’s in testing now. Erika said you were a fan.”

  “You…”

  Erika smiled. “I heard from a little birdie that you were doing really well in school and I promised you that I would introduce you to my friend who designs the game. I always keep my promises. Robbie, this is Chris Pentonix. He’s the artist for the game.”

  “Holy cow! Grands!” Robbie screamed and swung the door open. He dragged Chris by the hand into the living room where he proceeded to show him his collection of ‘Gears of War’ video games, toys, and posters. Erika laughed. Robbie had done the same with her not too long ago.

  “Erika, dear. How are you?” Maureen entered the room.

  “I’m doing all right.”

  “Have you been by to see your daddy?”

  “Yes, before we came here.”

  “I heard you were thinking of buying the old Miller place.”

  “Yes. My stuff is being shipped back this week. I’m staying with my mom until I can find a place. That one is at the top of my list. Easy access to get into D.C.”

  So is this house, Maureen mused to herself. “I’m so glad you’re back. Your mother has told everyone in town who will listen.”

  “That’s mom.” Erika fidgeted with the skirt of the aqua blue dress. She wanted to ask where Blake was. She wanted to know if he thought of her, remembered her. Or worse, if he'd forgotten about her.

  “Have you been by Blackie’s?”

  Yes, a number of times since being back. “No.”

  “Come with me, then. Robbie I’m just going to the garage with Erika. I’ll be right back.”

  “Okay, Grands! See this, Chris?” Robbie’s voice trailed off as he showed Chris all his ‘Gears of War’ gaming gear.

  Erika, glanced at Maureen, then at Chris, who just nodded and shooed her away as he went back to playing with Robbie. She thought Maureen was going to take her to Blackie’s. Instead, she brought her outside and opened the doors to Blake’s garage.

  When the doors opened, Erika took a step in retreat.

  Her Jeep. The one her father had given to her was sitting in the garage. Any dents caused in the accident had been knocked out. Mud and dirt washed away. All the windows had been replaced. Maureen took Erika’s hand in hers and placed something inside the center of her palm before closing her hand over it.

  “He worked on your Jeep nonstop since you left. He spent hours and sleepless nights just to get it to work again. For you, Erika. Go see him. I’m sure you’ll find him in one of the old fields.”

  Erika looked to Blake’s mother then to the Jeep and back again, nodded and approached the Jeep. Blake had cleaned out the inside of the Jeep as well. There was absolutely no sign that the Jeep had been in an accident. She got behind the wheel and placed the key in the ignition. When it purred to life she smiled at Maureen who nodded as Erika backed out of the garage, the driveway, and into the street in search of Blake.

  ***

  Blake gunned the engine and drove across the deserted field. He turned the wheel as red dirt spit from below the tires. Rocks tolled against metal. Red clouds of smoke billowed behind him, in front of him, all around him, swallowing him and his brother’s truck as it had done too many times before to count. He turned the wheel again. More rocks and dirt hit the underbelly of the truck. More dust and clouds.

  Today, he swore he’d find a way to drive Erika’s Jeep back to her in L.A. He wouldn’t leave no matter how much she pushed him away. He would explain everything to her and beg her forgiveness. If he had to, he’d get down on his knees. He wasn’t above groveling at this point.

  He would tell her he loved her, this time so she could hear it.

  The image of her wet, cold, bloody body still haunted his dreams. He couldn’t bring himself to see her at the hospital. He had sat in his truck in the parking lot but never went inside. The day she left Emberton, he was in this same field tearing up the dirt after seeing his brother’s grave. Turning the wheel again, he saw her Jeep turning into the field.

  And now I’m seeing things?

  The Jeep came closer, a cloud of dirt following behind it. He braked hard, letting the smoke billow around the truck. When the Jeep pulled up in front of him, he watched Erika step out. She wore the same blue dress she had worn on their first date—the picnic. His breath caught in his throat. She was here. She waited in front of the Jeep. He opened the truck’s door and stepped out.

  Erika swallowed hard. She didn’t know what she would say to him if she found him. She hadn’t practiced anything on the flight home or anything over the past few hours being home. She was too nervous for what she wanted to tell him.

  “Blake—”

  He held up a hand to stop her from speaking. He quickly closed the gap between them but stood right in front of her. He didn’t touch her, he didn’t kiss her. Maybe he was still angry, she thought. He has every right to be angry. She could feel the tears pricking her eyes and did her best to blink them away.

  “You deserve an apology and an explanation.” His voice was low and gentle.

  “No, Blake. You don’t have to. I was—”

  “Yes, you do. And yes, I do.” He sighed again and knew it was time to open up. “Jared, my brother, died defending us. He was in the Marines and he paid the ultimate price.”

  Erika swallowed hard. She watched the emotions crossed Blake’s face showing his agony. She tried to put him at ease again, “You don’t have to—”

  “He was stationed in Afghanistan. On a routine mission, his Humvee ran over an IED. It killed part of his unit and him. And your father. But you already know that. I was living in D.C. at the time I got the call from my mother. The officer and chaplain came to the door and Robbie answered it.”

  Erika suppressed a gasp with her hand. Robbie had opened the door to the news his father had died.

  “My parents were here with Robbie. It was hard for all of us, but most especially Robbie. I took it just as bad and drowned myself in my pain for about a month before my mom knocked some sense into me. Now I had to be there for Robbie. Robbie’s mom had passed away giving birth so all Robbie had was Jared and my parents. And when Jared was deployed he stayed with my parents. He still has nightmares over opening that door. They are getting better with time and support from me and my parents.

  “We held the funeral here. Robbie copes by playing video games. I cope by driving my brother’s truck.” He gestured to the old truck behind him and Erika could see his eyes dampen. “I miss my brother every damn day. I haven’t talked to anyone about him since the day we found out. I don’t know why, I can’t figure it out for the life of me, but I find it…Maybe it’s because you know what it’s like, I don’t know, it’s just easy to talk to you.” He ran a hand over his face, wiping his eyes. “That day in the meadow, our picnic, when I started talking about Jared, I don’t know why I just opened up like I did. When you told me about your father…I tried to stop myself. I fought with myself to control the urge to talk about it, to you. But I couldn’t. Then when you started asking questions I wasn’t ready to answer, I shut down, like I had with everyone else.” Blake took a deep breath.

  “If anyone knows how i
t feels, I’d say it was me but I’d be lying," Erika said. “Yes, I know the ache and maybe even some of the anger. But he was your brother and for me it was my dad. Each of us is going to handle things differently. If driving your brother’s truck is your way of coping, so be it. For me, I used to bury myself in work.” She shrugged.

  “Used to?”

  Erika shrugged.

  “You’re the first person I’ve talked to about all this. The only person.” He whispered when her eyes met his. “I couldn’t bring myself to go to the cemetery. I couldn’t until…”

  “Until?”

  “The day of your accident, after the night we spent…I went to the cemetery, to see my brother. I knew that if I could face him, I could face you. I could explain. I was rude to you. For that I’m sorry.”

  “Well at least that explains why you were so ill-mannered to me when we first met.” She smiled, her eyes glassy with unshed tears.

  “I suppose it does. Erika, about the picture.” Erika opened her mouth to speak. “No, let me get this out. I didn’t know it was your dad. I had gotten those pictures a month before Jared’s death. I had stared at those damn pictures every night. But I never looked at anyone else except my brother. The night before the fair, for some damn reason, I looked at the guy standing next to Jared. I should have told you that night. I shouldn’t have waited. I made excuses, let my own issues get the best of me, and I was wrong.”

  “No, Blake. I was wrong. It wasn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have blamed you. I should have listened. I was still hurting and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”

  He reached out and took her hands. “I thought I had lost you when I found you at the river. I never want to lose you again. I love you, Erika. I don’t think I could stop loving you. I didn’t want you to leave to go back to California. I was going to ask you to stay. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me. Well, me and Robbie.”

  Erika’s heart leapt. “You fixed my Jeep. My dad gave me that jeep. I never really appreciated it until I had lost him. I kept his dog tags on me from the moment we received them with his personal belongings. Losing them—”