Bonds Of The Heart Page 9

  Blake flipped through them—as he did most nights—and lay back on the bed. Jared with some of the guys form his unit playing football. Another picture of the same soldiers at Christmas, Jared with the fake Santa beard and hat handing out gifts. A formal shot taken of the entire unit, guns held at the ready.

  The final picture was of Jared with the commander of his unit.

  Blake stared at the close up shot of the two men. Both men, one almost a younger version of the other, smiled into the camera. The older man had salt-and-pepper hair. His skin was aged by the sun and there were wrinkles at his blue eyes, clearly from years of happy times in his life. His brother, also tanned from the desert sun, smiled just as big. His fatigues hung off broad shoulders gained from all the training at boot camp. His last name proudly displayed on his jacket, Hamilton. The older man went by the name of…Gibbons.

  Blake shot up in the bed. Erika’s father stared back at him. Erika’s father was his brother’s commander. How many times had he looked at the picture over the past God-knew-how-many hours and weeks? How many nights had he stared at his brothers face next to the man in the picture? Why tonight had he decided to look upon the name of the second face in the picture?

  Blake took a deep breath and wondered if Erika had the same picture. Then he wondered if she already knew and didn’t tell him. He stood from the bed and paced. How could she not tell him? If she knew, wouldn’t she say something? Maybe she didn’t know. And if she didn’t, that meant he’d be holding this piece of her life, from her. He had to tell her. He’d have to show her the picture. But he wasn’t ready yet for the questions she’d ask or for the support he didn’t know he needed.

  ***

  On the walk to Blackie’s, Erika thought about the night before. Just where was Blake’s brother? And why was Blake taking care of his nephew? Why after three months had she not known anything about what was going on in the small town? Why? she laughed to herself, because she avoided the small town gossip mill like she avoided the coffeemaker at work that no one cleaned. She had always hated the way people talked and assumed. She believed in the truth. The truth is more important than facts; her father would say. He believed in others and if they told the truth, he believed them. It was one of the many things she had admired about her father.

  She had a lot of questions that only Blake could answer. She would give him time and her support. But just how much time could she give? She’d be leaving in just over two weeks to head back to California. She would leave him her cell phone number if he wanted to call her. Although somewhere inside she didn’t believe he would. Why would he? They weren’t that close. They had shared some intimate moments that weren’t really that intimate in the end.

  Did she want to be intimate with Blake? The man who had annoyed her, was rude to her, and who, she admitted, she wasn’t even interested in at first. At first… And now?

  She touched her fingers to her lips and remembered the feel of Blake’s mouth on hers, then shook off the feelings. She couldn’t get involved with a man knowing she’d be leaving soon. She’d enjoy the time she had left, be there for Blake if and when he was ready to talk, and leave at the end of the month. She would say goodbye one more time to her father, at his grave, and to her mother, and get to work on cementing her roots in California. So why did the thought of doing all that leave her feeling empty and miserable?

  “Jeep’s all ready.”

  Blake’s voice broke through a new stream of thought. Erika tried to catch the breath as it left her mouth in a gasp. The hot day had him working with his shirt off and the sun reflected beads of sweat across his chest, down his defined abs. There was a small smudge of grease on one side of his torso, a few more on his ripped jeans. A rag hung from his back pocket. The jeans were snug at his hips and loose around his boots. They clung close to the muscles in his thighs with just enough room for imagination. She swallowed hard. What was she thinking about before he spoke to her?

  “Okay,” was the only word she could manage.

  Blake watched Erika study him. And he studied her in return. She wore those barely-there shorts again that caused an ache inside him. Her fair skin showed hints of gold color from the summer sun. He itched to touch it. She had her hair pulled up again and he wanted to pull the tie from it and let it fall. Then reality smacked him upside the head. The picture. The one he'd stared for hours at the night before. Guilt overtook his need.

  “Ben will ring you up and get ya going.” Blake turned and headed back into the shop.

  Odd, she thought. His eyes read one emotion and his words and body language read another. She had seen the same emotion in his eyes when he looked at her as she felt inside herself when looking at him. She paid the bill for her car, talked with Ben for a bit, and headed to her Jeep. She pulled open the driver's side door and stopped. A thought struck her. She turned and headed back to the shop, into the garage bay where Blake was bent over another car.

  “The fair starts tomorrow,” she said.

  “Uh huh.” He didn't look up.

  “I’d like to take Robbie. If that’s okay with you.” Blake popped up barely missing his head on the hood of the car.

  Blake leaned up against the Chevy and stared at her. He had already planned on taking Robbie, as it was a tradition he had shared with his father. Blake wasn’t looking forward to being surrounded by people in town but he knew it would mean the world to Robbie.

  Before he could stop the words—again—they were out of his mouth. “You can come with us.” He turned back to scowl at the engine for no reason other than it was right there in front of him.

  She smiled. “All right. I’ll be there at—”

  “We’ll pick you up.” He huffed from the car, again without looking up.

  How could she be a friend to this man who was sweet and gentle one minute, but rude all other times? She didn’t know, but she’d be damned if she didn’t try.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow then,” she said as sweetly as she could. She turned and left him to his work. And his attitude.

  Blake waited all of twenty-five seconds before following after her. He caught her just as she reached her Jeep. He took her by the wrist and spun her around into his arms. His mouth crushed hers. He plunged his tongue into her, taking what he needed. And she let him.

  She shouldn’t go around wearing shorts like she did and a tank top that made him itch to touch her, he told himself. He should have let her go, he’d see her tomorrow whether he wanted to or not. But her vanilla scent lingered and teased him. His guilt would eat at him later, but right now, he wanted her. There, he admitted it. He wanted her. He wanted her taste, the feel of her skin against his, in bed next to him. He wanted to feel her against him when she wrapped her arms around his waist and up his back as he pushed her up against the Jeep’s door.

  This was what she needed. She didn’t need the gentle or the tender. Not now, not as she had been given by friends and family over the past three months. She needed the roughness and eagerness. The loss of control. She knew Blake had that inside him. She knew he would give that to her. If he gave anything to her, she wanted this.

  So when Blake gave, she took. Her lips parted for him as the tingle in her belly heated. She needed him, wanted him. Her thoughts of keeping him away vanished as she pressed herself into him. Her breasts, heavy and aching to be touched pushed, into his chest, a barrier of only her clothing keeping them from touching his skin. When he pulled away, Erika fought to get her balance.

  He had stopped himself from going too far. He could feel the blood rush to below his belt. Blake could feel himself letting go, opening up. He didn’t like the feeling that she could do that to him. As quickly as the thought came into his head that she could possibly be the only one that he could open up to it disappeared. All he could say was, “We’ll be by at six” before turning away and walking back to the shop.

  Damn it Blake. He was falling for her. No, not falling. He was in love with Erika Gibbons.

  Fourteen<
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  ***

  Her mother had already left for the fair. Erika put on the soft yellow sundress with a low-cut halter top and breezy skirt for a summer evening. The dress she was going to wear to welcome her daddy back. Yellow was his favorite color. The thought made her heart ache.

  While she dressed, Erika thought about Blake. His demanding kiss yesterday had made her think about what she really wanted, needed. She wanted Blake. She needed him. Where had the need and want come from, she couldn’t figure out. What surprised her more was that she didn’t want to figure it out.

  Blake made her feel…happy.

  He felt like…home.

  Could there be happiness with him? Could there be roots with him? She didn’t know much about him. Then again she didn’t care. What she did know, she accepted because she believed him. She believed Robbie was his nephew. She believed that he had suffered a loss similar to hers but didn't know what it was.

  Erika’s eyes widened as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. The truth smacked her across the face. Blake had lost his brother. Robbie had lost his father.

  “Oh God.”

  His pain and secrets were for the brother he lost, the father that Robbie had lost. But that raised more questions. Where was Robbie’s mother? Why hadn’t she taken care of him? Why did Blake take over and do it all? Why did Blake hold in the hurt and pain? She frowned. She knew she wouldn’t get her answers because Blake wasn’t ready to talk about them. Remembering his kiss, she realized Blake didn’t want gentle or tender either. Another thing they had in common. So when it came to the two of them, she wouldn’t give him gentle or tender. She’d give him what he needed, when he needed it. She could do that for him.

  After all, when you love someone you put their needs above your own.

  Love?

  Did she love Blake? There couldn’t possibly be love between them, could there? Yet he made her feel things she hadn’t felt before. Blake made her feel safe. When Blake held her, or touched her, she felt relaxed. Happy. She hadn’t been happy for the past three months. She had almost forgotten what it felt like. Yet each time she came home after seeing Blake a smile curved her lips because of him. She had slept better the past few days because of him.

  It was bittersweet, the feeling of love. She would have to leave soon, say goodbye not only to her mom and her father but to the man she loved. Yes, she loved Blake Hamilton. She supposed she fell for him the first day they met, when he helped her with her Jeep. She didn’t want to accept it then. She let frustration and anger take over because it was easier for her to do. Sighing, she knew this was a secret she’d have to keep to herself. She’d take her broken heart back to California without letting Blake know how she felt.

  Blake and Robbie arrived at exactly six. They pulled up in that old beat up truck of his, Robbie sitting shotgun. When she opened the door, she plastered the smile on her face that she'd practiced to hide her feelings and slid into the seat as Robbie moved over closer to Blake, sitting between them. She snuck a sidelong glance at Blake. He'd visibly tensed as she got into the truck.

  “Have you ever been on the Zipper?” Robbie blurted as Blake pulled out of her driveway.

  “The what?”

  “The Zipper. It the biggest ride at the fair. It has these seats like a cage that they strap you in and goes round and round,” Robbie motioned with his hands to try to explain, “and then backwards.”

  “I don’t think I have.”

  “You should. It’s crazy fun. I only got sick on it once,” he said proudly.

  “Sick?” Erika pressed a hand to her belly.

  “Yeah it made me dizzy after I had too many corndogs.” He smiled when Blake snorted.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever gotten sick on a ride before. But I guess there’s a first time for everything.”

  “You can sit with me when we go on it.”

  Erika nodded; the thought of being sick from a ride wasn’t all that appealing. When they pulled into the roped-off parking lot, she and Robbie exited her side of the truck. They waited for Blake, who hadn’t said a word since they picked her up. He paid for Robbie’s ride tickets and admission for all three of them. Robbie pointed out games of skill and the Zipper. The look of the giant machine ride make Erika’s stomach turn. She’d have to try not to eat before she went on it. It would definitely make her sick.

  Robbie dragged them to a game where he had to throw a ball at three bottles to win a prize. Blake handed over the money to the attendant which would give Robbie a few tries. On the first attempt Robbie knocked the top bottle off but not the bottom two. On the second attempt, he knocked all three over, but one remained on the small pedestal. On the final attempt, Robbie didn’t hit one bottle.

  Robbie turned to Blake. “Why don’t you try Uncle Blake?”

  Blake shrugged and handed the attendant money. The attendant handed him three balls. With the first ball, Blake threw and missed. He missed again with the second. On the third, Blake cocked his arm and let the ball go. It knocked all three bottles over and off the table. Robbie cheered and jumped up and down. Erika just smiled.

  “We have a winner!” yelled the game attendant in hopes to get more participants to play his game. “Pick your prize.”

  Blake gestured to Robbie with a wave of his arm and a smile. Robbie looked at Blake and then at Erika then back to Blake before answering. “You won, you pick. I bet Erika would like that stuffed dog.” Robbie pointed to a black-and-white spotted stuffed animal with big floppy ears.

  Blake lifted his brows in surprise. He glanced briefly at Erika before shrugging and nodding to the attendant. The attendant took the dog down and handed it to Erika.

  He hadn’t been able to say anything to her all night. When she'd gotten into the truck wearing that yellow swatch of fabric she called a dress, he couldn’t get any words out. He did everything possible to focus on driving for the safety of all three of them. When she moved through the crowds she swayed, her dress catching in the light breeze. If Robbie hadn’t been there, he’d have suggested they skipped the fair altogether. Then he remembered the picture of his brother and her father again. It ate away at him. He had paced his room all day trying to find the right way to tell her. Still he couldn’t find the words. And he didn’t want to bring it up in front of Robbie. Blake watched as Erika’s big blue eyes widened further—he wished he could give her the dog instead of the attendant handing it to her—as she hesitantly reached out her hand and spoke to Robbie.

  “Are you sure Robbie? You could have any prize here.”

  “I’m sure. You’re his girlfriend, and guys win prizes for their girlfriends.”

  She forced herself to not laugh, to not correct the young boy who had lost his father. She wasn’t sure if Blake considered her his girlfriend, and the way he’d been acting tonight she wasn’t sure if he even wanted her around. She hurt every minute they were at the fair in each other’s company and he didn’t talk. She didn’t look at Blake. “Thank you, Robbie.”

  “Don’t thank me, thank him.” Robbie thumbed toward Blake.

  Erika looked up and locked her eyes with Blake who still had yet to speak. Blake swallowed as her eyes met his. She was so damn beautiful, and she didn’t even know it. She smiled softly, taking his breath away and said, “Thank you, Blake.”

  He nodded.

  When Robbie pulled them to a ride called The Scrambler‒‒which neither Blake nor Erika wanted to go on‒‒he gave the attendant his lone ticket and waited in line. Blake and Erika walked to the exit area to wait for Robbie with the other parents and some teenagers.

  Erika took a deep breath but didn’t look at Blake. She kept her eyes focused on the spinning ride. “Are you going to speak to me at all tonight?”

  Blake didn’t answer.

  She glanced at him once before turning back to the ride. “Okay, fine. Don’t speak to me. I don’t know what I did to deserve the silent treatment from you. If I did do something to deserve it, I’d apologize. But since I d
on’t know, I can’t. So don’t worry, I’m sure I can find a way to have my mom drive me home with her when we see them later.” Erika clung tightly to the stuffed dog with floppy ears. She damn well knew falling in love would break her already broken heart.

  “No.”

  “Excuse me? Did you say something?”

  “I’ll drop you off at home.” Blake said flatly. He didn’t want her to leave. He wished she could stay with him and Robbie forever. Shit. The thought had him biting back the urge to get down on one knee in the middle of the fair.

  Erika didn’t respond. Something was bothering him. He was bristling with it. She could feel it as it rolled off him. She turned back to the spinning ride and waited in silence with Blake as Robbie took his turn and then met them when it was over.

  As they walked through the fair, Blake bought them corndogs and cotton candy, but barely spoke more than a few words to Erika as they made their way through craft tents. When they reached a tent with the food displays, they found her mother, Evie, a few ladies from her mother’s book club, and Blake’s mother.

  “Will you ever give me your recipe for your merengue?” Blake’s mother laughed to Brianne.

  “That is one I will take to the grave with me if Erika doesn’t marry.” Brianne laughed back as they cleaned up a few tables. “Speak of the devil.” She smiled as Erika, Blake and Robbie walked up.

  “Hi, mom.” Erika kissed her cheek.

  Robbie smiled, his mouth colored purple from the cotton candy. He turned to his grandmother, a sword in one hand and the fluffy candy in the other. “Grands, look what I won at the shoot-out. Blake bought us corndogs and I didn’t get sick on the Zipper this time. Oh, and Blake won that dog for Erika.” He pointed to the dog Erika had in a death grip.

  “How sweet.” Maureen smiled.

  “When will the winners be announced?” Erika asked. She’d been in silence most of the night because of Blake and she was sick of it.