Bonds Of The Heart Read online

  “Erika, let me explain.” Blake reached to wipe the tears from her cheeks but she slapped his hand away.

  “Don’t touch me.”

  “Erika, please…”

  She held the picture out to Blake. “This is my father. How could you keep this from me? How could you possibly explain? That you knew about this the whole time and never told me?” She crossed the room, tearing off his shirt and getting dressed in the process, her father’s dog tags swaying around her neck. “I trusted you. I thought you…”

  “Erika, please. Don’t go. Let me—”

  “I don’t want your explanation, Blake.”

  The tears falling from her eyes froze him to his spot. He wanted to pull her into him, explain what he didn’t give himself the chance to do before. “I should have told you when I found out.”

  “Yes, you should have.”

  “I didn’t know it was your father. I never looked at his face or the name on his uniform. I only just found out.”

  “I don’t believe you.” Her voice was low and strained. How could he do this to her? Why would he keep this from her? He knew how much her father meant to her.

  Blake reached out to Erika but she pulled away from him.

  “I said don’t touch me. She cried and threw the shirt in his face and stomped naked down the hall, grabbed her clothes and stormed out of the room, the house, and Blake standing alone in the dark.

  Erika stared at Blake’s truck as she walked out of the house. She had come there tonight with him in that dirty old truck. Walking toward it, her hurt spilled over her in waves. She looked into the cab. In the pale moonlight, she noticed the gleam of the dog tags hanging from the rearview mirror. She placed a hand over her father’s around her neck and backed away from the truck. She held her other hand held over her mouth to keep any sound from escaping.

  Blake’s brother was killed in the same accident as her father. Her father and his brother died together. He should have told me. Anger and hurt gripped her heart like two vise grips. When she told him about how her father was killed, he should have said something. Why didn’t he mention that he had a picture of her father? Why didn’t he tell her that her father was his brother’s commanding officer? She let her heart get in the way of her head. And now it was broken—again. Turning, she ran away from Blake’s house toward her home.

  She was relieved to see her house dark, her mother probably deep asleep in bed. Erika didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. She’d crawl into bed, in her father’s old t-shirt, and quietly cry herself to sleep. In the morning, she’d change her ticket and fly back to L.A. sooner than she was supposed to. Grabbing the stuffed dog that Blake had won, she cried into her pillow and fell asleep.

  ***

  Blake was frozen for a minute before running after Erika. By the time he got outside, she was gone. He should go after her. But what could he say? She didn’t want to listen to him. Walking back into the house, he headed back to the bedroom. He looked around, the mess before him mirroring what he felt inside. Rumpled sheets in the bed, where they had been so intimate, lay in disarray. Empty glasses and spilled water on the floor, seeping into scattered clothes and hallway carpet. Pictures from his brother were scattered around the room. The one of his brother and her father was gone, along with his heart.

  He caught his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were tired, strained, and…hurt. Scratch marks where Erika had clawed at him only hours ago were still red on his shoulders and chest. He ran a hand over the marks and cursed himself for not telling her, not showing her the picture first. He’d had all night. He’d had plenty of time before they had done anything—at the fair when they waited for Robbie to ride the rides, at the garage when she picked up her Jeep, in the living room right before they’d…

  Stupid, stupid, stupid. Such an idiot.

  His brother would laugh at him right now if it wasn’t for his heart breaking. What kind of man was he to let it get this far? What kind of man lets the woman he loves walk out on him? He stared at the picture of his brother on his wedding day. He hadn’t given too much thought to his future before, aside from taking care of Robbie and the garage. He had never factored a woman into his life. Maybe if things had been different, if he was still in D.C. and his brother still alive, he would have considered marriage and love. But then, if things were different, he wouldn’t have met Erika Gibbons. He wouldn’t have fallen in love with her and wanted her to spend the rest of her life with him.

  He would have to give her time to calm down. He would find her tomorrow or the day after and explain everything. He would try to make her listen to him. He’d tell her all about his brother and Robbie. He’d tell her that he loved her. He’d ask her to marry him.

  But first there was something he needed to do for himself, above everything else.

  Before the sun rose in the sky, Blake cleaned up the spilled drinks. He dug out the packing boxes his mother had brought over and began to pack Jared’s belongings. He hefted box after box to the attic. He kept only happy reminders of his brother—pictures, gifts, memories. When the sun rose behind gray clouds, he got in his brother’s truck and took off for some deserted dirt field before going to the cemetery—to finally pay a visit to his brother.

  Seventeen

  ***

  Erika slept in, knowing her mother had to be at the fair early in the day. She had kept her door closed and listened as her mother walked through the house. When she heard her mother start her car and leave, Erika sighed. Turning over, she peered out the window. The sky was dark with clouds and the wind howled against the glass. They would have to close the fair for the bad weather today, so that meant her mom would have to pack up the book club table and other tents. She prayed her mom’s car wouldn’t breakdown on her way to the fair.

  She pulled the covers up and over her head and let a few more tears fall.

  All night she had tried to figure out how everything had fallen apart so fast. She had tried to rationalize Blake’s stupidity; tried to defend him. But nothing she could come up with could bring her to forgive him. The largest hurt of all was that she loved him.

  She had fallen completely, head-over-heels, undeniably in love with Blake Hamilton.

  What was she to do now with her feelings? Blake was the only man she had ever loved in her life. No other man, she knew, would ever come close to Blake. For that, she knew she’d never been completely happy with any other. She wiped the tears from her face and sat up in her bed.

  Today she would pack. The drive into Culpeper would help her get herself together, and when she was there she’d change her flight home to tomorrow. She’d call Maggie and schedule her Jeep to be shipped back to California. Mags would offer to carpool until it arrived and since she didn’t really want to be alone, it would help her keep her thoughts of Blake away if she had someone around to distract her.

  Changing the flight would give her enough time to say goodbye to her dad one last time and kiss her mom goodbye. She’d explain to her mother that her work needed her back in L.A. sooner than expected. She’d email the HR woman‒‒the one who wanted to offer her the editing job in the D.C. office before…before everything fell apart‒‒ when she got home, and decline the job. She’d stay in L.A. and try to replant those roots she had started to relocate for Blake.

  She had only applied to the job in D.C. when she realized she loved Blake. Sending her resume and an email to the HR office in hopes of moving back home to be with Blake so soon after meeting him was a stupid idea. Look before you leap. She never liked that saying, but now it rang through her head like a bad hangover. Her heart was here with Blake and her mother—and her father. She had been offered the job and she hated that she’d have to say no now. She couldn’t be here and face him every day.

  She showered and changed into jeans and an old sweatshirt of her dads with the letters usmc emblazoned across the chest. She packed her suitcase and left out her travel clothes for tomorrow. Scribbling a quick note for her mom, Erika left
it on the kitchen counter where she knew her mother would see it. Grabbing her rain jacket, purse, and keys, she headed to her Jeep. She only hoped she’d make it back before the rain got too bad and scolded herself for not checking the weather before leaving the house.

  ***

  Blake got a few hours at the old abandoned field in before the rain hit. Once the field was too muddy and when the thunder rolled in the distance, he left and headed to the cemetery. He would still have these moments where he could take his brother’s truck out and remember the good times they had together. When Robbie was old enough, Blake would take him out to the field and let him drive his father’s truck around, like he did.

  Pulling up the cemetery, Blake parked across the street as he always had. To move on, move forward, this was something he knew he had to do. Putting the truck in park and glaring at the gates to the cemetery, he opened the door and got out. He stood for a moment, trying to gather his strength to enter through the old rusted gates. He tugged at his jacket when the wind threatened to take it from him. He took a deep breath, bit down, and trudged forward. Jared was probably mad at him for taking his sweet-ass time to come see him. Rain pelted Blake's face. Although, he supposed, the tornado warnings were right. They’d have one come through or nearby with the way the wind was blowing sideways.

  He forced open the gate and headed through the rows of headstones. He heard a car pass on the street behind him, and thought the driver stupid for going out in this weather. When he reached his brother’s grave, he picked up the turned-over flag and forced it deep into the ground.

  “Hey Jared,” he began. “I know it’s taken me some time to get here. I just couldn’t…No. No excuses. You never believed in them and would probably smack me upside the head right now for making all the excuses in the world to…” he paused remembering Erika and how he hurt her last night. He took another deep breath. “Robbie is doing good. You’d be proud of him. Well, you always were, so I guess you’d be prouder now. He’s having trouble with math, but with his accountant uncle around, you know he’s in good hands.”

  Gripping his jacket tighter when the force of the wind knocked him a step sideways, he knew he didn’t have too much longer.

  “I fell in love, Jared. You’d like her. She’s just like Lori. Hot-headed, stubborn, feisty, sexy. She gets on my nerves sometimes, always refusing help. Then she goes and makes me…makes me need her. She’s the first person I’ve wanted to talk to since…well you know, since everything happened. I’m gonna tell her how much I love her. I’m going to marry her, Jared, if I can get her to forgive me. I made excuses to myself. I pushed it off. I pushed her away. I should have told her as soon as I knew that your commander was her father, as soon as I recognized the photo you sent me. I should have told her all about you, why Robbie was with me, why I was back here and working at your shop. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, and now…Shit Jared, I can’t let her go back to California.”

  At the snap of a tree branch in the distance, Blake looked up. The sky had turned black and the wind wasn’t settling down. Trees bended in the hard wind. He said a quick goodbye to his brother, promising to come back. He would even bring a six pack of their favorite beer, Yuengling. He glanced at the headstones around him and saw Erika’s father’s grave. He paid his respects and wished he was there to ask for Erika’s hand in marriage before running back to his brother’s truck.

  He had made it safely to his house through the rough, worsening weather. The rain was picking up, pelting his windows. When he opened the door and found his mother and Mrs. Gibbons in the living room, his heart dropped through the floor.

  “Blake!” His mother jumped from her seat next to Erika’s mother, who was twisting a handkerchief in her hands, worry clear on her face.

  “What’s going on? Where’s Robbie?”

  “Robbie’s fine, he’s at his friend’s house. He’s safe. Blake, it’s Erika.”

  Blake watched Erika’s mother wipe a tear as his heart stopped at the mention of her name. He turned to his mother, his voice low and controlled. “Mom, what happened?”

  “When Mrs. Gibbons got home, she found Erika’s note on the counter. Erika said she had to run to Culpeper for something and that she’d be right back, that she wouldn’t be more than twenty minutes or so. That was three hours ago, before the tornado warnings, before the storm got worse. She hasn’t come home. We can’t reach her on her cell. We can’t find Erika.”

  “Please Blake.” Erika’s mother cried, tears spilling over. “Please find Erika!”

  Panic and fear cut through Blake’s heart. Erika’s Jeep was old, built like a tank, he reassured himself. She wouldn’t be stupid enough to travel during a tornado warning. As long as she stayed in Culpeper, she should be fine. But what if she hadn’t? What if she was on her way back and got stuck in the storm? What if she was in an accident? She was stubborn, she wouldn’t have stayed. Damn it!

  “Stay here. I have my cell. I’ll call when I find her.” He said before rushing back out of the house. He heard his mother call out to him to be safe as he got into his brother’s truck. Blake saw the fear on her eyes as she stood by the door and watched him take off into the storm.

  ***

  Turning off the highway was a mistake.

  She should have stayed in Culpeper when the clouds turned black, but she wanted to get back to her mother. Now she was on one of the back roads with horizontal rain, hail and tree branches falling around her. At least she had been able to change her flight back to L.A. She’d have to spend a few more days here than she really wanted to, but she could keep herself occupied at home and away from Blake for as long as she needed.

  “Damn it.” Erika pounded her fist on the steering wheel as the wind rattled her Jeep. Her wipers were at their highest setting and not doing any justice in clearing her vision of the road.

  Even if she let Blake explain, could she forgive him? He didn’t exactly try hard to stop her from leaving the night before. He didn’t try that hard to explain either. Then again, she didn’t give him the chance to. Well, he had hurt her. The pain had been too much for her to stand there and listen to him try to make excuses and talk his way out of his mistake.

  Looking at the swaying trees and trying hard to see where she was driving, Erika cursed herself. She should have checked the weather instead of listening to sappy, heartbreak music. She switched the radio to one of the news stations and heard the emergency warning tone and turned up the volume. The disembodied voice rang through her Jeep and her head.

  “This is not a test. An F1 tornado was spotted just minutes ago outside the town of Culpeper, Virginia, traveling east by northeast toward Quantico at the rate of thirty miles per hour with wind speeds gusting over eighty-five miles per hour. Everyone is advised to seek shelter and get off the roads as soon as possible. If you are on the road, get to safety now, or to a low-lying ditch and cover your head. There are reports of downed trees and power lines. Rivers are surging with rising waters and all bridges should be avoided.”

  Erika's knuckles turned white on the steering wheel. She was driving through back roads with a tornado on the move. She took a soothing breath and tried to talk herself calm.

  All she had to do was get home to her mother.

  Trees surrounded her on all sides. The bridge up ahead told her she wasn’t far from home. She would just have to get across the bridge, where the waters were rising and rushing below her, without any problems. She knew she was supposed to avoid the bridge, but it was the only way home to her mother.

  She sloshed through rainwater that swallowed her headlights. The tires cut angled grooves through the water. "I'm going to make it. Just a few more feet…Just a…" A blast of wind sucker-punched her from the left and threw the jeep against the barrier like a linebacker, smashing the passenger window to pieces. Was that scream mine? She saw the rage of the muddy, brown water below the bridge and gripped her father’s dog tags around her neck.

  “Please help me, Daddy.”
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  If she couldn’t straighten out her Jeep, she’d be in that water soon enough. She turned the wheel trying to turn the tires in the direction she wanted to face. She pressed the gas slowly, moving the Jeep only inches forward, just shy of the other side of the bridge, before another gust of wind toyed with the Jeep like a kid playing with his Matchbox cars. Her head bounced from side to side as the Jeep was swept in the other direction then back against the railing once more. This time her head hit her window and everything went black.

  Eighteen

  ***

  Blake checked the cemetery first. Then he drove to the freeway, got on then off after one exit. No sign of Erika or her Jeep. She must have taken the back roads, he thought. His stomach churned from fear and panic, a feeling he’d never experienced before. He didn’t like it one bit.

  He fought the gusts of wind as his truck swayed on the side roads. His truck crawled through the massive puddles and skulked along the roads navigating around fallen trees and branches. The rain pelted sideways on his windows and small balls of hail tolled against the truck.

  As quickly as the storm had come in, it was gone. Blake could see the sun trying to pierce through the clouds as he reached for his cell phone. He forced his foot onto the brake as the picture before him unfolded.

  Erika’s Jeep was off the bridge on the other side of the river bank. The front end of the Jeep was half in the water and the back half was sticking up and out. The truck skidded to a halt at the end of the bridge. The riverbank was too muddy and riddled with downed tree branches he was too afraid he’d get his truck stuck. Instead, Blake jumped out and rushed to the bank of the river to get a better handle on the situation. From what he could see, Erika’s limp body was slumped over in the driver’s seat.

  “Erika!” he yelled, but she didn’t move.

  He waded into the water carefully so he didn’t get swept into the rushing current or risk moving the Jeep. Greedy mud water pulled at his legs. All of the windows were smashed and Blake saw blood trickling from Erika’s head when he approached. He tried to the door handle first but it was jammed shut.